Olive did very well mingling with the thousands of people at BlogHer 2011. She even had her first "screen test" with mommy, while being interviewed by Rob Halper from Johnson & Johnson.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Adventures with my girl
From day one, Olive has enjoyed being on adventures out of the house. She loves going out for walks in the stroller and often wiggles and smiles in anticipation once I've loaded her in and am tying my shoes - the last step before heading out the door into the neighborhood. She enjoys being in the car for the most part, looking out the window at passing trees, buildings, lights, shadows, and clouds. Nestled in her little seat, she rocks and bounces to the music and the suspension. The Ergo carrier is also a source of enjoyment for her and a place to nap once she's situated comfortably with a thumb in the vicinity of her mouth. After getting her fill of scenery, she'll often settle in and go to sleep or just cuddle peacefully and enjoy the outing.
The BOB stroller is great and rugged, but I'm limited in where I can go, even with the shocks, pneumatic tires, and rain cover. Car trips allow us to get out of the city, but are fairly disconnected experiences for the two of us. Olive in back, facing backwards, looking out the window and into her mirror, and me concentrating on the road ahead. Sure, we can have conversations, but it feels so distant. My favorite means of getting out with Olive so far has been the Ergo pack. I am really into exploring our Oakland Hills neighborhood, intent on discovering every last staircase, open space, unique garden, and mind-blowing estate. Putting her in the pack pretty much allows us to go anywhere my legs and back can handle.
However, as she's getting heavier, the limited support of the Ergo has been a hindrance on walks longer than 45 minutes. So, being the gear-head I am, I decided to get a more ergonomic hiking pack to carry Olive. There are quite a few options and several review sites, which only made the decision more complex. I researched the heck out of this, as I do all gear, and then took the little bean to REI to try several models out in person.
I lined up the various pack models on the floor of the store like bowling pins so I could compare their size, shape, and features. REI had a bin of pillows (usually used as ballast to stuff in packs and test them) so I laid a few pillows out on floor and plopped Olive into the makeshift nest with her chew toy so I could concentrate on the decision with both hands. Once I narrowed it down to two models (a Kelty and a Deuter) I proceeded with the real test: placing Olive in the pack and putting it on.
Not surprisingly, she was very content in both. Somehow she knew that this new piece of gear would mean that Daddy and Olive would be able to broaden their exploratory horizons, in more style and comfort. As I walked around the store wearing the Deuter for an extended period, killing time looking through clearance racks, shoes, and bike gear, I passed by the occasional mirror to check on her status. Every time she had a huge grin on her face. Also, every time we passed another customer they would look at us and then at her and make a comment about how happy she seemed. So after a few more mirror flybys, each one resulting in Olive seeing herself and beaming from ear to ear, I concluded that this was the the one!
After stocking up on pack accessory options - shade canopy and rain fly - we proceeded to the baby clothing section to pick out an SPF shirt and fleece vest for Olive, so she'd have the proper hiking gear. Every baby needs a fleece vest with an inside pocket and lined collar, right?
We went on the maiden voyage the next day to one of my favorite local hiking and biking spots: Joaquin Miller Park. Great views and diverse trails, that offers the option to stay in the shade or in the sun depending on the weather or season. Plus, there are walls of redwood trees that occasionally open up to panoramic views of the San Francisco skyline.
Needless to say, Olive loved the hike. Maybe it was the scenery, or the fact that she could reach out and touch my neck and hair and hear my voice clearly, or it could have been the toys that I attached to the pack with cute little micro-carabiners. She was happy, and the pack was more even comfortable than I had expected; I could hike all day in it. She fell asleep for a while.
Most of the time though, she was alert and awake taking in the sights, sounds, and smells, and listening to the sherpa who wore her: "See the redwood tree? ... Look at that view, there's the lake we walk around ... Hear the bikers coming down the trail? That's what Daddy does on his day off..."
Neither of us can wait for the next hike!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Finding your moment of Zen
It is inevitable in everyday life that your buttons will be pushed, your patience tried, and your limits tested. Be it by the babe, by the wife, or just by what life throws at you.
For many years I have made a habit of getting away for an hour or two a couple times a week for a bike ride, to cut loose and let my mind relax and not worry about anything but turning over the pedals, breathing, and focusing on the road ahead. Even when my mind was saturated with what I had to do the second I got home, I was able to find at least a few minutes when I thought of nothing: this was my moment of Zen. I was able to keep this up through multiple jobs and even grad school, but since Olive was born, finding the time to get away on a bike ride has been challenging. And now that Jory is back at work there is no one to hand the babe off to when I've reached my boiling point and need to take a few minutes to get my sanity back. We haven't ventured into day care options as of yet, since Olive is still not taking to the bottle, so until then I'm on my own to find a rare moment here or there.
Even though my bike meditation has been hard to come by, I still make it habit to get at least a few minutes during the day (baby's nap times are ideal), when I can separate myself from everyone and everything, take a deep breath, ground myself and attempt to achieve a moment of Zen. A 5 minute soak in the hot tub is more than adequate; so is sitting on the couch, bathed in the morning sun drinking some coffee; folding laundry or raking leaves can also provide a simple activity to zone out and recoup.
I have found these few moments, as ephemeral as they may be, essential for refreshing the mind and body to be able to take on a busy day, appointments and errands, or even a day when Olive decides to test the longevity of her stamina and operetta voice. And although it is beautiful to hear her explore her newly found voice, there's only so much screaming in the ear that this dad can take. So when I've had it up to here and seemingly can take no more, if I've had a moment of Zen during the day (or at least have one to look forward to), at least I can look towards that time and remind myself to be in the moment and to be reassured that even the craziest of days will come to an end and that eventually she'll have to sleep, right?
Monday, January 03, 2011
Day 1: Home Alone
After 3.5 months the day has finally come: Mom (Jory) left for work this morning leaving our baby Olive with a full tummy, asleep in bed and me standing in my pajamas at the garage door – scared shitless.
We’ve been blessed with a wonderful and healthy (albeit very loud) baby girl and have been raising her together at home since her birth. It has been an incredible experience so far with few complaints, other than lack of sleep and sore muscles from endless hours of bouncing and rocking. Both Jory and I knew that this bittersweet day would eventually come; when she would have to go back to work full time and I would take over officially as Mr. Mom. Olive on the other hand, has no idea that her life will be different when she wakes up this morning to find that the ever-present boob is gone for the day.
Many Dads share my situation and are stay-at-home dads (SAHDs). This role reversal is becoming more common (and evident by the number of dads out and about on a normal weekday) and I even feel like part of a club when doing errands or out on a walk, when the other dads in the neighborhood nod or say hi as we pass each other. It’s a sign of understanding and acknowledgement that we are taking on a role that does not come easily sometimes. Of course, guys do this in their own manly way: a quick nod, a glance at our kid's color palette to distinguish gender, and a reflexive survey of the gear being worn or pushed.
Having lost my job several months before Olive was born (in an industry that is currently on life support – Landscape Architecture) it made perfect sense for me to become the primary caregiver so Jory could continue to build the successful new media company she co-founded (BlogHer). In fact, before I lost my job we had even discussed this as a viable scenario, so that Olive could be as lucky as we were to have had our mothers around full time while growing up. So when it did happen, I just went with it, viewing the change as an opportunity rather than a setback. Happy to be given this opportunity to be Olive’s Dad, to be present every day when she wakes up, play with her, introduce her to the world, witness her daily growth and changes, be able to watch her smile while she naps, and who knows, maybe even turn her into my sous-chef. If she can hold a rattle, she can stir batter!
The big challenge and current hurdle however, is that Olive has not been receptive to me feeding her. We’ve tried bottles of every shape and size: boob-like, alien-like, bent, straight, with complex internal systems to reduce air, wide nipples, short nipples. We’ve experimented with a medicine dropper. I’ve even held warm milk in a sake cup up to her lips to get her to drink. Although a little lapping did occur, this too proved to be futile (maybe I should have tried cold-filtered breast milk?). It is these types of repeated failures that can make a dad feel pretty worthless. Sure I can take her for walks and change her diaper, but if I can’t provide her sustenance, what good am I to her?
I’ve been assured by friends and family not to worry, “It will all work itself out; she won’t let herself go hungry for too long; a few days of not eating won’t starve her.” Knowing that I’m not the only parent (or even dad) who has dealt with this situation does make me feel that at least I’m not alone and that if others have gotten through it, so will we.
So when Jory pulled out of the garage at 7:15 this morning, I was in a state of semi-fright and anxious that when Olive wakes up and feels her stomach growl, the screaming will ensue, my blood pressure will skyrocket like it does when I’m hammering on the pedals of my bike, and I’ll get increasingly flustered that there is no boob in sight to offer her until Mom gets home from work. It could be a very long day.
Sure we’ll get through today and the next day, and, hopefully, the week, but I’m not sure I’m ready to let her cry it out all day just yet. I guess I’ll have to let go of that
The baby monitor just redlined. Let the day begin…
